(Book Review) Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein

I took my time with this book, reading a chapter at a time and really soaking it in. With a 4-year-old daughter I felt I owed her -- and myself -- the time. Time to turn the info over and over in my head.

Orenstein does an outstanding job pointing out the many pitfalls of today's girly-girl culture -- but always turns around to play devil's advocate with herself. I appreciate that. She didn't attack and move on. She points out her own pitfalls with her own daughter, Daisy. I appreciate that. She never preaches. Oh, how I appreciate that.

She pointed out ideas I'd never recognized, but once I was aware I couldn't NOT see it. For instance, in my all-time favorite Disney movie The Little Mermaid, Ariel gives up her voice to be with a man. She gives up her voice! How had I missed that? How can I ever be okay with that? Also, the Mulan Barbie that I bought Shannon last year is Mulan done up in her girly garb -- which she despised in the movie. Why is she not in her warrior outfit?

I couldn't help but remember my friend's daughter Sofia, heartbroken because someone told her she was wearing boy underwear.  Up until the age of 3, she had happily donned Spiderman and The Incredibles underwear along with Cinderella and Belle, blissfully unaware that there was a difference. My daughter Shannon was only two when we made the first "big-girl underwear" trip to the store, and she wouldn't even consider choices that weren't pink. At the age of two. Even today, as much as she loves all things super-hero and Scooby Doo and Phineas & Ferb, she knows those shoes are on the unacceptable side of the aisle.  Why do we, as parents, accept this separation? Why are there different sets of Legos? Let me tell you, I will never walk down an aisle of toys the same way again.

Orenstein seems to touch on everything: social media, American Girls, Toddlers & Tiaras, Hannah Montana, and more. It's one of those books where I want to sit all my friends down and read aloud.  There's simply no way I can tell them everything I think they should know.  Anyone with a daughter who worries about the impact the media and today's culture will have on her body image, identity, and self-esteem should read this book. It won't give you easy answers, but it will point you to areas that require critical examination. I am grateful to this book. It will stay on the top row of my most-accessible bookcase. I will return to this book over and over, for reference and in some cases, guidance. And I'm pretty sure there will come a day, some point in our future together, when Shannon says (probably with a roll of her eyes), "Peggy Orenstein ate my mother."

And I'll take that as a sign I'm doing my job.

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