My Ultimate Authority... Lessons Learned from Sue Monk Kidd

To write what I learned from Sue Monk Kidd's The Dance of the Dissident Daughter would be another book in itself. Period. But here are the highlights, the select few that are not necessarily the most important wisdom I came away with, but ones I think are the easiest to express here and now.

Writing: The Highs & Lows & 'Dislike' Button

This past week has been a week of extreme highs and moderate lows. Most of you know a major blog site -- BlogHer.com -- featured several of my blogs. As of this writing more than 4,000 people have viewed (and hopefully read) my words. What a rush! Do I care that I'm not paid for this? Heck no! Just as I bask in every post y'all share on your Facebook pages and/or Twitter feeds -- not to mention your comments -- I've reveled in this small success. I'm not ashamed to admit I'm proud -- and as an extra perk, my dopamine levels have been off the charts!

This I Believe about "This I Believe"

This I Believe is a New York Times bestseller featuring 80 essayists (60 from the NPR series and 20 from the 1950s series) sharing their most deeply held beliefs. Contributors include Isabel Allende, Gloria Steinem, John McCain, Bill Gates, Penn Jillette, and John Updike.

This I Believe awed me. Or more specifically, its contributors awed me. To communicate a deeply-held belief in 500 words or less is a daunting task. We all know how hard it is for me to write blogs that concise, and none of mine come close to conveying a profound belief.

The Tree that Put Me at Ease

Back in February I had the good sense to attend a writers' conference offered on campus --- where I met many talented writers, bought too many of their books, and patiently began to nibble them in small, savory bites.


Except for Jennifer Horne's Bottle Tree. I devoured it that first weekend.


Which is interesting, because --- Horne being the only poet at the conference --- I expected to enjoy her the least. That sounds insulting, but up until that weekend most of my exposure had been to the big dogs --- Keats, Yeats, Frost, etc.  You know, the poetry that demands "work, work, work to understand me." I had the preconceived notion that Horne's would be much of the same.


But then she read her first poem, and I was spellbound.  I didn't know poetry could be like this! I remember thinking, I want to write like this someday. After hearing her speak, I wanted more. After finishing her book, I wanted more. Horne had given me the gift of poetic sustenance, when up until then I didn't know I was starving!  


Two months later I'm a regular in front of the single shelf at my local chain bookstore, picking up Alice Walker and Billy Collins. Thanks to Jennifer Horne I'm at ease with my pursuit of writing poetry, understanding that fancy words and complicated styles don't make a great poem. An open mind, a gift of words, and a sense of story-telling make a great poem.  At least it does in Bottle Tree.


With the author's permission, I've presented one of my favorites from the collection. Please visit Jennifer Horne's blog and/or click here to purchase a copy for yourself.  Trust me, you'll want more.


Monday Morning with Household Chores


Surprised into tears by an old song.
It's my mother, not a lover, I miss.
How she sang along happily. With abandon.
The words soothed her. Lifted her, too.
I stop in the middle of mopping the kitchen floor.
Nothing to do but sit down on the steps.
Let the tears have their way.


It's my solitude I weep for.
The never-again of it.
Changeable weather. A sweet old song.
Me aging with all these questions.
She not there to ask.


Isn't every motherless girl the same?
Still expecting her phone call.
Even after however-many years.
Mopping's regular rhythm.
Lemon oil on wooden chest.
Honor her with frangipani candles at Christmas.
Sing with abandon. Abandon. Abandon.




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Affirmation | An Original Poem

i want for you to know Yourself

be Yourself

love Yourself

who cares about your size

your thighs

the lies we tend to tell ourselves

ways we judge ourselves

ways we shame ourselves

and instead

proclaim Yourself incessant

exclaim Yourself insuppressible

don’t hide from the side of Yourself

that you think others don’t want

and instead

decide what matters ―

the You that needs a voice 

the You that has a choice

should arise

aim for the skies

reside among the stars

because You, my friend, are

luminous

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Inspiration Comes in Raw Packages

There's nothing like finding inspiration in someone else. 
Thanks to friend Kyrsten from my creative poetry class, I've discovered Taylor Mali, a former-teacher-turned-slam-poet. I spent an hour watching youTube videos of him last night, spent another hour making my husband watch them, and after was so inspired I sat down and wrote something in under 30 minutes.

I love it when that happens.

So before you think, "Blah.  I'm not going to watch some guy recite poetry," I urge you to take a minute. Or three. Watch the clip below.

Listen.

If you like what you see (and I think you will), try these:

• On What Teachers Make
• The The Impotence of Proofreading
• Labeling Keys
• Defending American Interests

 But to tell the truth, I find his deeper stuff (listed below) to be breathtaking --- literally.  I found myself holding my breath. His willingness to bare his soul... I struggle with that in my writing.  I'm always aware of who I might hurt.  If I write about an ex-boyfriend, will I hurt my husband? The ex's family? If I write about my family, will it offend my grandmother? And so on and so on. My friend Mica tells me that I'm more honest than she ever could be, and perhaps that's true. (Read her guest blog, A "Clark Griswold" Holiday)

But I know it's not enough when I find myself censoring my pen.

Because when I read writing that's raw --- or hear it like Taylor does below --- that's what really packs the punch; they're the words that stick with me. Inspiration comes in raw packages.

• Depression, Too, is a Type of Fire
• Entire Act of Sorrow
• For the Life of Me

To sum up, it seems I recommend watching everything he's ever done on youTube.  I hope you find him as inspirational as I have.  And by all means, please share him (& this post) with your friends on Facebook & Twitter, too!


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Oh, What Pretty Eyes You Have

Ginnifer Goodwin recently changed her hair, but only after permission from the Big Love producers.  To avoid any future scenarios like this, she put a wig clause in her current and all future contracts, allowing her to style her hair any way she wants. "I find it hard to express myself," she says, "when I'm growing out a very bad character haircut."  Geez, who wouldn't? (Click here for the full article)

So this has me wondering, "What attribute expresses me the most?"  Now obviously, I can't see myself signing any contracts to not change my hair.  Let's face it, a girl who's shaved her head isn't too particular.  Fashion doesn't matter, either -- although I might consider finding a way to wear TOMS for the rest of my life.  The truth is, I can't find myself putting anything in writing that deals with my physical appearance.  I'm just a little too adventurous (or maybe I don't care enough).

Returning to attributes, though, my eyes are definitely my most expressive.  From an old boyfriend who called them "aqua eyes" to every other person I meet that says, "oh, what pretty eyes you have," trust me, that's what people notice.  Have always noticed.  Which might be why I haven't always appreciated them -- in fact, one of the things that first attracted me to my husband is that he didn't comment on them.  Maybe it's true for everyone -- the thing you're complimented on the most, often annoys you the most.

But I'll never forget the day I finally embraced my eyes.  I was sitting with my cousin Megan while we waited to have our heads shaved, and she was nervous (heck, I was, too).  She looked at me and said, "Everyone keeps telling me how pretty my eyes will look, and I guess they're right."

She paused, and then caught me completely off guard.

"Because mine look just like yours."

Pretty powerful, coming from a girl who'd turned eleven the day before.  It took her eyes to make me realize how beautiful mine were.  And remembering that moment and that beautiful girl is a lovely reminder to love myself more.

Now with all the eye-color-coordinating shadows and complete aisles filled only with mascaras, fixin' up my eyes is quite fun. And nowadays the, "oh what pretty eyes you have," remark is often followed by, "are those fake eyelashes?"  Which they're not, but thank you CoverGirl Lashblast Volume Blasting Mascara.

Gennifer Goodwin says, "As long as I can wear a wig, I can be any character and in real life I can be myself."

Well, it seems I am forever working to be myself -- but doesn't the saying go, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."

So I guess this step is labeled 'lovin' my eyes.'

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