Cameron Diaz gave me an "ah-ha" moment today.
Trust me. No one is more shocked.
I was listening to last week’s Real Time with Bill Maher podcast and already pleasantly surprised when BAM! She said something so deep, so enlightening that I almost had to pull over.
She was speaking about how the public can love you one moment and hate you the next...
"It's like a relationship," Diaz claimed, "they just want you to stay there because they've arranged it somewhere in their head to identify who they are by liking who you are..."
But I couldn't help but think about how this relates to the person I am, and the person I project around other people. My family, certain friends, and definitely the people with whom I work have only a pigeon-hole view of who I really am. To these people, I’m still the same me from ten years ago.
Diaz went on to talk about how there must be an “evolution” in the person that you are. In the past ten years, even in the past five, I have experienced profound evolutions. I dare say that most of us do in our twenties. Maybe some of us fall nicely in line with what our parents and/or others had hoped, but surely there are many of us that do not. Do you share this newly born person with them? Won't it hurt?
How many of us struggle on a daily basis to "live true" to ourselves, yet worry about what other people, many times the people we interact with on a daily basis, will think?
As a 27-year-old, I am constantly trying to find the right balance with my parents and grandparents and other members of my family. Sometimes I still think of myself as one of “the kids” rather than an equal adult. To a certain extent, you have the good 'ole "respect your elders" issue that comes into play.
Let’s face it – you can’t tell your grandmother what you and your husband are really doing for date night when she asks. You can’t drop many 4-letter words when talking with your coworker. But how far do we take that? Do we not speak our minds? Do we bite our tongues and choke back our true thoughts? Our true selves?
Apparently so. In just the past few years a faction of my mother’s family has actually started meeting separately so that we can interact normally, rather than act out these bizarre characters we’ve created! How many of us have created these small circles in which we can be ourselves. And are they enough?
"You're not always going to be that person... They kinda want you to stay where you're at...," Diaz says.
But what happens when we don’t stay ‘where we’re at?’ And what if they don’t like that person you are now? Yikes!
This is a big “yikes” when it comes to our jobs. How many of us can say we are 100% authentic while at work? Who do you "become" between 9 and 5?
My job consumes an average of 50 hours per week, so in actuality I spend more time being my "work self" than I do being my real self. What is wrong with this picture? And before you make some quipping remark about being ashamed to stand behind my beliefs, chew on this: I live in a southern state where my political and religious beliefs differ tremendously from the people I encounter on a daily basis. Factor in that I work for a non-profit and you'll grasp that on a very real level, my job is affected by the degree in which these people trust me. Down here, the general consensus against liberal freethinkers is none too favorable.
But truth be told, those are just two in a long list of adjectives that describe me. Passionate. Loyal. Fun-loving. These are a few others, and they tend to shine through on any given day.
"I'm not complicated, I'm complex, just like everyone else. There are many facets to who I am... “ Diaz says.
So perhaps I should dare reveal some of these hidden facets to my aunts and uncles, my supervisor, and some of my old high school friends. Maybe the gamble would pay off and I’d discover hidden commonalities. Or at worst, they’d overlook what they conceive as a handicap and still like me for me.
“I am who I am,” Diaz says, “and I can't be who everybody wants me to be, because it's impossible."
Is it impossible? Probably not.
But is it worth it? Share
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