To Preach of It: An Original Poem

i looked to you to

tell me i was beautiful

life was hopeful

to be faithful

i was grateful to have anyone despite

your shortcomings

late-night homecomings

the forthcoming criticism of everything i was or

ever would be

please i begged

be my rhett butler

my johnny castle with subtle dance moves

i'd be your sandy and change for you

be my french kevin kline

i'd be a sleepless meg ryan or

your clementine who'd never

erase you

until one afternoon you said

this came first

that came second and absurdly

i was and would forever be bronze

suddenly the going-ons and

sunday afternoon binges 

ways you infringed upon my essence

amplified to flamboyant degree

now if if our paths should ever cross

perhaps i should hug you, kiss you

cut through the polite shit that old lovers do

embrace you

race to tell you that it's

all because of you

i switched course

enforced a year of isolation

to learn myself 

be myself 

tell myself that I am beautiful

believe it

live it -- that I alone can make myself

and deserve to be

happy

years later I am free

to teach of it

to preach of it to

each and every soul who seems to

think otherwise --

including you

I will shout it from the rooftops

talk of it nonstop -- because only

exhaustion comes from 

expecting the impossible from

anyone or anything 

but Yourself

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